HONESTLY

There was once a time
when I needed to tell you
my innermost thoughts
A time when I needed to bare my soul
When a second seemed like a century

Years have passed since then
and you have flown to another realm
I see you now as I could 
before my heart felt you
before my soul welcomed you
Before your deception consumed me

Now, I watch you flit 
around the room to which I gave you the key 
and I cannot despise you for this
knowing I gave you the leverage 
to launch your attack on decency

I watch you wax and wane
and try to shine brightly
in this room full of 
intimate strangers
while inside of you
the light grows dim
and old friends fall by the wayside,
litter on the highway of your life

Your eyes see only the prize of power
In your quest for freedom
the shackles grow tighter every day
and my love for you has receded
cool waves pulling back out to sea
Your pedestal has collapsed
but I am rising up 
beyond the suffocation of my love for you

The people who once blanketed you
warned and thus protected you
can no longer save you 
from tearing yourself raw
until only the skeleton remains
and your bones jangle
and when I hear the noise
I bow my head with grief

I have buried another love
survived the death of yet another 
painful piece of my past
but I will not visit your gravestone
Save for the nights when wine warms my face
and a trip down memory lane 
allows me to exist in a dream 
for just a moment
assured that I will awaken in the morning
rubbing sleep from dry eyes
remembering only fragments 
of a time best forgotten

While we tumbled 
through your struggle for light
and I stumbled, alone, 
lost in the darkest of nights
until the rays from my pregnant moon
shone through the shroud of disillusionment
purifying me
reflecting on the calm waves
in the sea of my hope